The Stoning of Soraya M. and Pride week share message

Monday, 06. 29. 2009  –  by Dana Gallagher

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Barbarians United 800px-rainbow_flag_and_blue_skies

Dana Gallagher

The theatrical release of The Stoning of Soraya M. coincided with the culmination of Pride week. These events happened separately, mostly attended by separate circles. Many people who attended one had little or no knowledge of the other. Yet those who were drawn to the film and those who were drawn to the Pride festivities have an extraordinary amount in common. Each are driven by the same desire for dignity, the same need to be seen and be heard, the same wish to take their place as equal human beings in this world. Very often they even struggle against the same oppressors. Yet all too often each struggles separately, in isolation. How much stronger might we all be if we fought together?

Despite the progress that has been made, the LGBT community is facing enormous challenges. According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, homophobic killings in the United States are at their highest since the turn of the century. For the past two years the National Day of Silence, an event designed “to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools,” was met with a boycott organized by the NotOurKids coalition, comprised of over 20 conservative religious groups. Linda Harvey, a spokeswoman for the coalition, told World Net Daily that “We need to be very, very concerned about the harm, for our own children and all of these children. We are creating barbarians. Parents want something other than barbarians living down the street.”

Barbarian. Whore. Queer. Adultress. Fag. Bitch. Slurs and insults often plant the seeds that later sow violence, even death. Two boys already this year, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera, both 11 years old, killed themselves after suffering harassment at the hand of their classmates. Neither found any support or protection from the adults and authority figures that surrounded them.

Soraya was a grown woman whose life was taken from her. Yet the tragedies that befell those boys here in America and that woman in Iran are not so different. Like them, Soraya became a target for punishment not for anything that she had done, but because of what she was. Like them, her demise began with whispers, and then shouts, of slander and accusation. You are a whore. You are a fag. You are an abomination before God. Like them, she was powerless to defend herself. Like them, she was failed by those around her who did have power and authority. Like them, her life met a horrible and senseless end.

Again, Soraya’s life was taken from her-I do not mean to set aside that fact. My point here is that Soraya M. was unable to defend herself because the culture in which she lived did not afford her full rights as a human being. There isn’t a single member of the LBGT community who doesn’t know what that feels like. When the discrimination of any particular group is tolerated in a culture, the underlying message is that they have been found guilty. Guilty of being a woman, guilty of being gay-guilty, in short, of existing.

But we are not guilty. We are born, all of us, innocent, and we have a right to be here and to live to the fullest of our human potential. Everyone who went to see The Stoning of Soraya M. understands that. Everyone who went to march in Pride celebrations understands that. My hope is that the understanding of each group might grow and extend until we form a stronger, more cohesive whole.

I believe that moving forward, much of the success of the civil rights movements will depend on our ability to recognize and honor our common fight. We did not choose to live among people who do not always see us, do not always welcome us. But we can see each other, welcome each other, and when necessary, defend each other. Barbarians united-what will the neighbors say?

13 responses to “The Stoning of Soraya M. and Pride week share message”

  1. AJ Hance says:

    I feel both Soraya’s story and the anti-gay rights movement is largely about power and control. In the film, there is an obvious power differential between men and women. By committing the stoning, it keeps that inequality strong.

    In this culture, there an obvious power differential between heterosexuals and homosexuals. Those who commit hate crimes against gay people have a need for control. Anti-gay rights supporters want everyone to same personality boxes. This ensures comfort to them, so they won’t have to learn and be open to other people’s way of life.

  2. Con Ru says:

    Although I am moved by this disturbing practice, I cannot equate it with gay-rights. There is no culture-wide power differential against gays, only a few that bully. Shame on you for trying to drawing this parallelism. Stoning is a cultural practice that should be stopped!

  3. Nina Wouk says:

    Many nations, including Iran, have an often fatal culture-wide power differential against gays. The fact that the US gay movement has not been met with murderous state repression says something very good about the United States.

  4. Tim Ned says:

    To equate the suppression to what women in Iran and many other mid-east nations must live with every day to the gay rights movement in the U.S. as inexcusable. Gays and women are murdered in these countries by their own government. Level headed conservatives like myself recognize the rights of everyone in this country. Don't group us with the nuts.

  5. Mehdi Rifai says:

    Wow. Con, Nina, Tim, recognize: Your United States may allow the LGBTQI community some semblance of existence under the protection of privacy, but in every way that matters, from education, to cohabitation rights, to legal equality, the US is woefully behind the majority of what we look at as the "first world." As is mentioned in this article, civilian violence against the LGBTQI is at its highest since the turn of the century, and the insistent advertising of Protect Marriage and other conservative, anti-marriage equality groups have reinvigorated the practice of sexual shame against anyone they consider "different." Considering that you set yourselves as the example the rest of the world should follow, you ought to be thoroughly ashamed of your track record on this issue.

    Second, I'm all for getting rid of moral relativism, and calling a spade a spade, but your broad generalities spoken with no reference to what's actually going on do no one any service, and just goes to creating a broader rift. Know that, in the Arab Middle East at least, no government murders homosexuals – they are imprisoned (some might say that's worse) in Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, the UAE, Bahrain, and Iraq for a period of 6 months to 3 years. Saudi Arabia considers homosexuality a lower form of adultery, and therefore homosexuals receive 60 – 80 lashes, depending on the judge's ruling.

    Meanwhile, these punishments are dealt out so seldom, generally only to those who act on their impulses publicly. For the most part, gay establishments are allowed to function freely as long as they don't advertise for the most part. Lebanon and Morocco are two countries where, of late, people have widely open LGBTQI communities, and both are working on taking out the legislation that lists homosexuality under sexual perversion acts. Surprisingly, in Lebanon, Helem, the sexual rights NGO there, receives much of its support from the unlikely source of opposition parties, among them Hezbollah. Meanwhile, the success of these communities has emboldened others, and the AP and many other news sources have recently reported that Syrian homosexuals are outing themselves in order to start the process of acceptance into the broader community.

    This is not to say that things are hunky dory: recently it was reported that Iraqi gays have been singled out by clerics, who are inciting the masses to commit violence against the community there. Meanwhile, the disputed reelection of Ahmadinejad is a particular disappointment to Iranian LGBTQI, who still remember his comments in New York that have driven them further underground. All over the Middle East, LGBTQI are subject to the same spat of honor killings that affect so many of the women such as Soraya.

    I would like to say, however, that this Pride, we in the Middle East have as much to celebrate in our advancement as the rest of the world, and your hateful comments only attempt at diminishing that. I hope that this clears up some of your ignorance, and I also hope that your complacency regarding the rights of American LGBTQI, as displayed by your refusal of the connection made by the article, is seen as moral cowardice.

  6. Michelle L. says:

    Wow. Amazing dialogue sparked by an intriguing connection made by this writer! The comment above by Mehdi Rifai educates and clarifies the real curcumstances somewhat and THAT is the most valuable and effective remedy–shining a light on other cultures and intercultural understanding.

    Kudos to Dana Gallagher for having the "MORAL COURAGE" to put forth a hypothesis that gets people talking.

    Journalists are the kindling that keeps the fires of awareness burning.

    See this inspiring video on people who speak out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE857DJWX2w

  7. Gene-Manuel says:

    I also give kudos to Dana Gallagher for her courage in writing this post and bringing to light this brilliant piece of writing. Thank you Dana for making the most important point of all: we are ALL ONE. What affects ONE of us, affects us ALL. We're all connected.

  8. Jhon says:

    It is curious to me why people on this thread want to further negate the injustice in this country towards gays and lesbians by excusing it away by saying "It's worse elsewhere", as if that is a satisfactory solution to these horrible crimes.

  9. Dana says:

    My thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts! Jhon your point is well taken-I think many of us (and by us I mean people in general, myself included) have been raised with such firm notions of "us" and "them" that it's difficult to step out of that framework. I mentioned the two young boys who had committed suicide here in the states to illustrate that the consequences of hatred and discrimination are universal. Identifying any particular group of people as fundamentally lesser-whether that be because of gender, sexual orientation, race, or any other of the host of prejudices that we manage to come up with-breeds contempt, and contempt breeds violence. The forms of violence do vary from culture to culture, but the suffering is the same, and your pain is no more acceptable than my own. In fact your pain IS my own, and if we're able to somehow recognize that in each other we'll all be in a much better position to become the healthy, happy, fulfilled human beings that I think we were meant to be.

  10. Chelsea says:

    I agree with you Dana, if we define groups of people as greater or lesser than others it does breed contempt, which leads to violence. Where the violence occurs and in what form is not the issue. In order to stop the violence we have to get to the root of what's causing it – and I believe that lies in how we see each other. I think making an effort to relate to others who are suffering is an admirable thing, the world would be a better place if everyone did that.

  11. Julie says:

    I am so impressed, Dana, by your thoughtful and astute observation of the universal problem regarding the powerful's neglect of the powerless. It is certainly an awakening to remember that the powerless needn't be divided among themselves. There are a few posts above which seem to miss this beautiful point you made, and seem to think instead that you were trying to equate stoning practices in the Middle East with the gay rights struggle in the U.S. That is not what your post is about. It is a reminder that we are part of the same human race, and that being born human (and from my faith perspective, in the image of God), we all deserve the same dignity in life. Whether you are a woman in Iran or a homosexual in the United States, there certainly exists a disregard for the full dignity and humanity of some human beings in both those societies. Public policy in the U.S. may not stone homosexuals, but it does not treat them with the same dignity or allow them the same choices and rights that heterosexuals are given. For a representative of the Christian faith, no matter how conservative, to call another human being – another image of God walking this planet – a "barbarian" is not only inexcusable, it is blasphemous and sinful. And as you demonstrated, contempt can lead to violence – whether it is violence through physical harm, or violence through inaction and apathy. As a wise church father once said, "The acts of charity you do not perform are the injustices you commit." When we lack compassion for people, it leads to inaction on their behalf. And inaction is a form of violence when action needs to be taken. It is the RESPONSIBILITY of those in power to speak for those who are powerless. I join all the "barbarians" in this world – those oppressed because of their sexual orientation, gender, race, or anything else – in seeking, peacefully and without ceasing, the full equality of all human beings.

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