A sexist society’s subtle spell on teens.

Monday, 08. 24. 2009  –  By Julie  –  1 Comment

He slams her against a locker and calls her a stupid slut. He demands to see her cell-phone and read through her text messages, to make sure she’s being faithful. He harasses other girls, calling out sexual innuendos while they’re walking together down the hall.

Is he just a boy being a boy, or a boy being an abuser? The truth is, domestic violence isn’t only an adult problem anymore.

About 1/3 of high school students have been involved in an abusive dating relationship. The even bigger problem-only 4 in 10 dating relationships end after the onset of violence and abuse, and only 1 out of 25 victims seeks help from a trained adult. This is the reality in a country that claims to be in a post-feminist mindset and claims equality.

Teen violence being ignored.

Where does it start? Does a teenage boy see his father put-down his mother, push her around, and understand these actions as the way to treat women? Are some boys just inherently violent? Maybe. But abusive tendencies are also deeply ingrained in our society, creating abusers out of men who probably wouldn’t reach a violent end on their own.

As a teenager myself, I can’t help but notice the messages sent to my generation – messages so many people overlook as harmless. The stringent gender stereotypes that force girls to be submissive and boys to be in power augments the problem immensely. The idea that a woman must have done something wrong to encourage a man to hurt her is more common than one might think – after singer Chris Brown abused his girlfriend, Rihanna, many girls surveyed assumed Rihanna was the one in the wrong, that she must have upset him and deserved what she got.

I look at my peers, and think back to elementary school. There was a time when we were content sharing toys with each other, when we were innocent and untouched by society’s cruel insistence that we’re not equal, that boys and girls must fit certain roles. It’s not until we grow that we slowly become under the impression that we have to be different and we have to act a certain way. The transformation is so subtle, we often don’t even know it’s happening.

We have to wake up from a sexist society’s subtle spell. We have to realize that domestic violence is a huge issue, and instead of my generation being wrapped up in these messages, just like generations upon generations before us, we have to be the ones who end it.

Watching The Stoning of Soraya M. gives me hope. This movie is an excellent place to start combating violence – especially for teens. Movies are generally a place where teens pick up negative ideas. Finally being able to watch a movie that exposes the global truth of domestic violence and its grave consequences is an excellent way for my generation to become aware.

It will take a lot of courage on the part of my generation – to fight violence that has run through the veins of global society for hundreds of years. But if anybody can do it, I think we can.

16-year-old Julie Zeilinger is a feminist blogger from Cleveland. She has recently created waves in the blogosphere with the creation of the F Bomb, a blog for teenage feminists.

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